User blog:SophisticatedShark/Bad Battle Suggestions 5 - Shrek vs Wreck-It Ralph
Sorry for the long wait, but it's finally done. I've just been busy, had writer's block, and completely ditched writing a battle in favor of this one. So hopefully, I can start writing battles more often. BAD BATTLE SUGGESTIONS OF HISTOORRY!!!! WRECK-IT RALPH VS SHRREEEEEEKKKK BEGIN Wreck-It Ralph Source Once upon a time, a gaming legend came to rhyme Against a Golly Green Giant in some godly green grime Who’s way out of his prime, and has one too many sequels And was almost defeated by like what, two short people? I'm a retro Roger Rabbit, Ralph wrecks rejects as he raps You’re raw, radioactive, face gives people heart attacks I’ll peel your onion layers 'fore your onion breath peels me back I'll blast your puppet, Christmas cookie, and smack-talking jackass You may live in a swamp, but when I grab a mic, I'm nastier Your odor got pushed aside for some pussy with a rapier Shrek So you want to go Turbo? Then let's push it to the pedal Or will you wreck your chances of winning just so you can get a medal? And you would know about little midget bastards considering Your ass gets kicked by a guy who fixes windows for a living Dropping beats like off your building, mate, you're gonna get shrekt Like an FPS, you’ll get stepped like a cybernetic insect I’m a super-slamming all-star who goes all-out in this fight This arcade junkie beating me? I’m freaking love and freaking life So you call me Mario cause I stomp you like you’re apeshit Except that I don’t need four quarters for me to chop you into 8-bits Wreck-It Ralph Wow, you think your misfit fairy tales are gonna harm me? I'm gonna royally school your ass, we'll call you Prince Charming I’m dropping bombs that explode like Mentos and Diet Coke I gave sanction to the needy, you drove them out your own home I hit harder than the bricks that bury you and take your life So while you go and pass some gas why not I go and pass the mic Shrek Please, in your DreamWorks, Ralph. I’ll make you a believer I spit so sickly on this track that I'll give you swamp fever You’re Sugar Rushin’ mate, too many cherries on your plate? You give candy to little children? Lad, we call that jailbait So run back to your glitchy bitch with faulty algorithms I’ve seen more comprehension in a Ralph that’s named Wiggum. Wreck-It Ralph Shrek, I’m gonna wreck it, it’s doomsday plus Armageddon And you say that’s jailbait? Right, like raping kids isn't a felon So if you’re up and tryna steppin’, I'll blast ya far, far, away I’ve heard much better verses in your Broadway play Shrek I’ll leave you like Calhoun’s husband, because once we are done with this I’ll devour you like Dragon and your apartment full of munchkins So go and watch me pull the plug on this Donkey Kong poser This battle’s finished, but I guess in your case: it’s Game Ogre WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT YOU DECIDE BAD BATTLE SUGGESTIONS OF HISTORRRYY!!! Who Won? Wreck-It Ralph Shrek Category:Blog posts